In my last blog entitled “Aries Full Moon October 9th - The wounded healer or warrior?” we looked at the axis of Aries and Libra and how the righteousness within the soul can either heal or hurt.
The thing with Scorpio is the amount it's been through. I'm no psychologist, but if any sign has PTSD, it's Scorpio. However, the Scorpionic gift is that it's been through it all - and survived. So if it can slow the cortisol in its cortex, it can shed and rise like the phoenix from the ashes.
It left us open, raw and bleeding, sitting in the mess, and asked us to do nothing but surrender. Scorpio is the eagle who has combusted with lightning, rising and transmuting - just like it’s card in the Tarot (Death) and its ruling Plutionian card (Judgement).
If anything should be your intention for this New Moon, it’s surrender. Eclipses are so strong it’s not a time for intentions. The universe has its own idea, and it’s getting on with it. All it needs is for you to calm down, know that you’ll be okay whatever, and let it.
I know I did. I found myself with the mighty warrior sword of an epidural plunging into my spine and asked if I wanted sedation.
My answer: “I’m now worried that if I have it, I won’t be able to tell you if I feel any pain.”
Response. “Okay, let’s start and see how you go then.”
Oh, but now I feel sick. I’m going to be sick, except I’ve been nil by mouth; Now, I’m retching and throwing up painkillers! Heck!
My lovely anaesthetist cleans me up, apologises for making me sick, and says, “did you know the surgeon is through the skin already?”
I can feel some rummaging, but all the banging, sawing and general DIY feels like it’s happening across the other side of the theatre. I can’t feel a thing - until it gets to the stitching - oh, ow, that’s sore! But there are only 5 minutes left, just breathe and tell yourself you are having a tattoo!
Now I’m being wheeled out, and I can’t stop shivering. I’m so cold, like ice (Scorpio), and now I’m alone in my room and in the grips of pain as I’m thawing out, like a slab of meat defrosting under the beautiful Sun that’s streaming through my private hospital room window.
Oh, there’s the nurse, she sees me and the pain I’m in, phew! Free milk of the poppy is on its way! Wahheeyyy!
For two days and nights, the Sun and moon shone through my window as staff whirled in and out, administering cocktails of drugs and telling me to get up. Yup, they got me up and walking only hours after the operation - and it hurt! - So Aries/Scorpio (both ruled by Mars).
Two days later, I’m home with a bug I caught from the hospital and a night in A&E the next day because of chest pains (before I knew it was a bug). That takes some strength, too, being in A&E 3 days after a hip replacement. Yup, still in Mars territory.
It wasn’t a straightforward week. Problems with meds, viruses (that I then gave to my one and only carer), health scares, false alarms, codeine constipation, you name it, trauma, trauma, trauma. And I was forced to keep moving. That’s what they do. For hip replacements, you can’t stay still. You’ve got to get moving.
And that’s the process of trauma and transformation for you…
You gotta keep moving, feeling the pain as you go, as you do. That’s how you feel and get stronger every day. Before you know it, you will have a new lease of life. But if you stay frozen in the clenches of pain, like Scorpio can (being fixed water), the feeling of strength fades day by day.
Feels much lighter than last year’s because it’s doing the work for us. If you let go of the plan, release control, do not fear, let everything be as it is, and sit amidst the mess instead, something amazing will happen. Your new life will organise itself around you, arranging all the pieces in the right place.
The most significant work right now is the inner work.
And I don’t mean the hours of meditation, yoga, healing and self-development you do (or think you should do). No. I mean, the way your life is going, it’s naturally clearing the karma for you. You don’t need to push the river along.
So, what’s been happening for you the past fortnight?
Can you see the karma clearing? My story might be graphic and dramatic (after all, when something is physical, it has gravitas), but I believe that something of the same strength is happening for you and will clear you from aeons of ancestral and past life trauma and karma too.
On the surface, the story may seem straightforward, but it’s more than that:
Taking my hip replacement, the surface story is osteoarthritis, but under the surface, this is how deep it goes:
My father’s mother (unknown to me) was riddled with arthritis and in a wheelchair from her early twenties. My father was estranged, but back in 2009, I had a past life remembrance of him being my paid cook when I was a lady of a stately home. Except he was a bit mad and used to shave the top layer of his skin off and put it in my dinner - eeeeuuughhh!!!
I was used to instant synchronicity confirming my past life memories
But none happened, so I thought I imagined it. Until several years later, on the day of my first book launch (no accident on that timing, I’m sure). When my mum rang to say she’d seen my dad’s obituary in the paper - he died of Scleroderma - a rare disease where hard skin grows around your internal organs.
I was born with Saturn conjunct to my Sun (father), and I am amidst my Saturn opposition now (a time when your soul feels old - menopause, dentures and hip replacements! - Saturn rules the bones and teeth).
Saturn is a major malefic planet (heavy-duty karma), just like the ruler of Scorpio.
Saturn has turned direct recently, so you’ll be feeling this wherever the transit is happening for you too. My dad was also Scorpio, the dark, obsessive, controlling, manipulative, traumatised and self-destructive kind, the one frozen in the grips of pain, bankrupt at forty, dead by sixty.
It’s time to cleanse ancestral karma.
I may have bad circulation, teeth, bones, finances (Saturn again) and painful legs. Still, I’ve stayed out of a wheelchair past thirty, made it past forty without bankruptcy (just) and at forty-five, I feel like the universe cut me open, plunged its hands into me, and took out the rotten root of my karma.
You don’t have to do anything other than giving justice to whatever is happening right in front of you. Things are changing. The past may still hang around or pop back up, but you’ll feel different about it if you let yourself, and in there lies your transformation.
Let it fall to the floor like a big old overcoat you’ve been wearing for too long, sit naked in the centre of the mess and see how everything rearranges itself around you. Then, as it does, slowly and gently, start to get up, explore, and see how you relate to the new arrangements in your life; that’s all you need to do.
If all this talk of Past Lives and Ancestral Healing has piqued your interest:
And if you’d like to understand your history to this degree, not so you do the work, but so you are awake during the universal operation, then take a look at