Instead of Father Christmas delivering our wishlist this year we have the Full Moon in Cancer – 22 December - striking at 5:48 pm GMT
The last two moons have been harsh, just to see how "good" or "bad" we really can be.
Yup! Whilst the forecast outside our windows has been getting icier, the internal emotional forecast has been hotter to popper!
However, both extremities have served the same purpose:
To cleave away the old, redundant ways of living that no longer serve.
Over the last eight weeks, a lot of things changed, internally and externally, things we could take control of - we did, and people that didn’t like it left our lives.
In fact, hasn’t that been the story of 2018?
Has the year been stormy for you?
2018 was a number two year, relationships, decisions, compromises, income equals expenditure and stalemates feature prominently in number two years, which can feel particularly tiresome after the new start of independence surging forth from the number one years that came before.
Now we are going into a number three year and this Full Moon opens the door - even before we’ve got there!
It’s time to review what the 1,2,3 is about for you.
See my example below:
2017 ( year number 1 2+0+1+7 = 10 1+0=1) I had a lot of emotional clearing work to do so that I could heal my family and save my marriage, we were effectively starting from scratch and we needed to each focus on our own independence. I was living in a different country to put time and space between us whilst we did out emotional healing, we did it successfully, but it took its toll on my cashflow.
2018 (year number 2) The relationship year: was exactly that, great for me when it came to the relationships that really matter in my life. In fact, it’s the first year in my life where I could say that home and family was an emotionally secure stable and happy thing - but on the other hand, practical resources, time, money, energy even, were severely lacking due to the year before.
2019 ( year number 3) The year of growth: It’s quite normal to think that we should grow after planting the seed (in year two) but year two has its challenges - it’s that time when the seed needs to find its way through the darkness to the light, now in year number three we finally start to see the first signs of the new life, can you see what they are for you?
This Full Moon, also being one day after the solstice, brings the first signs of new life.
The darkest hour is before the dawn, the last two months have been the darkest hour when all seems lost, all is not lost, what if that seed gave up reaching for the light?
Keep going, keep the faith, keep your eyes open, there are opportunities on the horizon…
On the approach to the last Full Moon, I was on the phone to my bank arranging an overdraft - when they told me I had £600 in my savings account - ding!
On the approach to this Full Moon, I was reaching for the credit card to pay some overdue bills when I remembered I was owed that exact amount by someone - ding!
My mindset was in panic mode, thinking I was more done for than I was, due to a year of constantly being on high alert with constant income equals expenditure - if I was lucky!
Part of me was grateful for the hidden stashes coming to light, and the other part (year two’s are so about duality and polarity) was still feeling panicked that I had now burned through pots of gold. The fact that I was starting to reach for the credit cards to pay overdue bills was not a comfortable feeling - to invest in self-development and get ROI yes, for bills? Eeek! No, that’s not cool.
The Abba song “I work all night I work all day to pay the bills I have to pay” was stuck in my head on repeat and if that wasn’t bad enough I just kept thinking - that actually it was WORSE - it was more I work all night I work all day and still I can’t pay the bills I have to pay.
I was now getting randomly sick. Every few days I’d develop something, an intense fever, or nausea or something - whenever we looked up the holistic reason it was the same - fear, fear, FEAR.
This started happening so much I even started to know what to do.
I’d just rest for the day - this didn’t mean stop work, but listen to what my body was really revolting against and find out what work it wanted to do, find an activity on the endless to-do list and prioritise that over the priorities, doing that would call a halt to the sickness and I’d be fine the next day.
The morning after this last bout was when I knew I had to reach for the credit card to pay the bills, yup, knowing what was coming was literally making me sick, but it was also when I remembered I had some money owed - and called it in.
However, just before that, I’d SCREAMED in my morning journal HELP ME!!!!!!
About an hour later an angel appeared at the door, but he was not the type of angel you would think of.
He was a Bailiff!
If you’ve watched Joan of Arcadia you’d know what I mean - in it Joan meets God every day in the form of a postman or some other person out there on the street, and they each have a message for her.
It would have been so easy to go down the woe is me route, but this man was compassionate, kind, sensitive and looked at me with empathy for the shit situation I was obviously in.
When investigated it happened to be a bit of a mix up (but not entirely) how interesting! I’d got the message.
I worked all night, I worked all day, feeling incredibly weird, work wasn’t giving me any answers and at the very end of the day I switched off and we switched some very light relief on by watching a program with my husband called “Living Mortgage Free” - ding! By the end of it we had the answer as to what we could do to get out of the situation we were in by thinking out of the box - which we may not have ever dared to do had we not got to this point:
Welcome to this Full Moon!
This Full Moon in Cancer puts the spotlight on your home, it makes only ONE aspect, a helpful one to Uranus - think out the box and you can break free.
The answers about how you can live the home life that fills you up are knocking at your door but you need to think out of the box to answer it.
The last two moons are behind us now, every now and then you might still get a flash of the anger that Mars injected so strongly into the collective during both, but even if you do, remember it’s just a message.
For instance, the morning after the bailiff I became aware of a different energy outside my door, rather than a strong, solid, compassionate presence, the energy was crazy, mad unstable, bang, bang, bang at the door, I wanted to hide and ignore but the lights were on and they could easily poke their head around and see me.
Damn it! I’m not hiding in my own home! I have a spy hole! So I walked the door but they could see me so I had to open it - or did I?
This is an example of the Mars energy that has been around the last month or so, crazy, manipulative, threatening energy that needs strong boundaries, I am obviously still being shown the need to work on boundaries - who says I need to open the door to my own home if I don’t want to? Even if I’ve been seen?
For the second day in a row, I wish I hadn’t opened the door.
A young lad stood there in the pouring rain, as soon as I opened the door, he opened his mouth and like the rain, his words poured out, in such a strong accent I could hardly make out what he was saying, the odd word here and there, good behaviour, change my life, going in the army, selling, arm stretched out desperately trying to get me to take something.
“I wish you well with it and I am sorry it’s not for me”
“WHAT’S NOT FOR YOU? HELPING SOMEONE? I BET YOU’VE NEVER HELPED ANYONE IN YOUR LIFE”
Now, what a mixture of emotions that provoked in me - fear, intimidation, anger and a desire to pull him in by his cheeky ear that he obviously hadn’t realised what to do with yet and start giving it some exercise, plus my own low self-esteem, shame and guilt had been triggered.
But I knew I had to just not give any of those emotions any energy and just close the door - just like we have had to do time and time again the last month or so.
This is the leftover Mars energy from the squares it made in the last two Moons.
Judgments and triggers at all time dangerous levels have been teaching us lots about keeping our ego and boundaries in check:
This young lad cold, wet and desperate appeared on my doorstep, I was warm, dry and in what looks like a big house in an affluent area, he probably thinks I own it, not struggling to keep up with the mega rent, due to a special Christmas live I was about to do for work I was dressed up to the nines, he probably thinks I have all the riches in the world to be lounging around at home looking like that, he probably thinks I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth, not a background probably not that dissimilar to his.
Yet I knew it wouldn’t work to try and change his outlook, all I could do is send a prayer that he gets the message he needs to get in a very good way and close the door.
This is the message now, whatever the story has been the last month or so, it’s time to say a prayer and close the door.
People will think what they will, there is nothing we can do except be the mirror of their choices as we shut the door and let that shidazzle go.
Life gives us messages all the time and the Mars messages we have had the last couple of Moons have been blessings, they’ve shown us what we won’t put up with and what won’t work, but we haven’t had the answers to what will come through enough yet.
We’ve been feeling beaten and bereft, and we’ve needed to be very very brave as everything has been cleaved away.
There may have been a deep knowing that the clearing is oh so right and that there is something oh so positive on the horizon, but can we make it to the horizon?
It’s been a bit like being in a desert with a drop of water left.
Well here’s the horizon and it’s made of a great big vessel of water, and no it’s not a mirage, the Cancer Full Moon holds the answers we need to be fulfilled, maybe just not as we expect -just remember to think outside the box.
Think out of the box of this world, the box that makes you feel that you should have paid your mortgage off by 30, that you should have thousands in your savings and a gold plated pension scheme, that the purpose of life is to sell yourself for your security.
Think out of the box.
It’s not the 1960’s anymore, and the sad fact of life is...
That we’d be lucky to be a first-time buyer at the age of thirty rather than twenty-three like it was back then - in fact, is it even lucky anymore? The prices are just too crazy, who wants to be in debt to the bank for the most part of your life?
These days only one in seven people in the UK have a private pension. I bet the box has taught you to think you are doing really badly and you need to conform more but get this - a third of Britons are £100 in the black!
Welcome to year number three, it’s fluid and it grows, it’s not hemmed in, it’s the true security of mother earth, false security is a thing of the past and thinking out of the box is a thing of the future.
On New Year’s Eve I’m going to do a Live Webinar that will help you review your year number two and action your year number three in a powerful out of the box way - this is the crescendo of 5 days beforehand where every day in my facebook group ( Inner Transformation With Tiffany Crosara) I will share with you a new Tarot spread for helping you to think out the box!
What a bundle of Christmas goodies!
Here's to a fantastic New Year!