Every morning I sit in meditation with a Tarot card, not looking at it, not knowing it but feeling into it by placing it in between my hands like so 🙏 and breathing the energy into my being.
Its called the Tarotfeely and is one of 3 key practices I do daily with the Tarot. This one is the quickest way of getting in tune with your higher self.
Instantly I hear “you know the rhythm of life, you know there is no wrong, no lost, it’s all part of the journey.”
Followed by a vision of a multitude of cogs in the sky all turning, and us beings, souls whatever you want to call us as chains ⛓ like strands of dna, we fall onto one cog for a bit - it takes us through a cycle, and flips us back up into the universe, there we float through space until at some point we inevitably fall back on to another cog for another cycle.
I feel this is not random, we are not lost, there is no wrong 💖
I flip the card over to reveal the Aquarian Star ✨ and I know I have just received the message for this week's Full Moon in Aquarius.
This Full Moon throws everything up for re-evaluation.
Friendships and relationships that were once sturdy can become strained as life throws us some karmic curve balls shaped as tantalising triggers.
This Full Moon is full in the aloof sign of Aquarius. Aquarius is cool in all meanings of the word. When the Moon is Full in Aquarius it means it’s opposite the fiery sign of the heart - Leo. There is nothing Leo hates more than someone being cool with them - I should know I am one!
Leo thrives on attention. Any will do! The more immature big cat also has a penchant for drama, whereas the more mature one knows the destruction an addiction to drama brings, and evolves by learning how to love.
Now if that wasn’t enough we have Venus in the mix - conjunct Leo, making the big cat’s need for love and romance even more dramatic. Leo is a big hearted sign so this could easily cause a massive outpouring of love. This means Venus is also opposite the aloof Aquarian Moon, resulting in a quick mix easy recipe for fiery fuses getting blown because we haven’t kept enough love for ourselves.
Not only that, but Venus is quincunx Pluto - quincunx is a karmic aspect, and Pluto is a karmic sign that demands we face the unseen, shadow side before we project it onto someone else and get a karmic whack!
If you don’t feel loved, or even if you know you are loved but you aren’t receiving the love you need from outside, or taking the responsibility to give it to yourself on the inside, then…
You could be in for some karmic flights of fancy.
Here’s some possible “flights of fancy” that could happen this Full Moon:
✨ You might be single, and so fed up with it, that you start to think you are being too high in your standards, at the same time, Bill down the road, whose always had a thing for you and doesn’t give up catches you with one invite too many and the next thing you know you’ve woken up in bed next to him!
✨Perhaps you are married, but the daily strife and strains mean you aren’t feeling the love you need (from your spouse or yourself) next thing you know, life has thrown you a curveball, in the shape of what looks and feels like a soulmate, it feels exciting and promising, and before you know it you are in a situation where one false move and everything could come crashing down.
✨Or maybe you are going through a separation, you know it’s tough but right, perhaps there’s even no love lost anymore, however you’d like to stay friends, so you go out together on a “let’s be friends” date - which ends with you back in the marriage - even though you know it’s wrong.
I know a few of you this is playing out for right now, and the truth is what is really needed is a big soulful dose of self-love!
So today we are going to look at how to let the real soulful love in.
Make a list of all the things you can do to make yourself feel loved.
This could be early nights, yoga, dancing, meditation, maybe cutting yourself some slack, having a pamper day, turning your phone off a day a week, WHATEVER feels like love to you.
Now schedule the time for each one in your diary yup even your bedtime!
AND if it doesn’t happen don’t beat yourself up over it! That’s not the point, the point is by putting these times in for your self care activities they are MORE LIKELY to happen. It’s important it fills you up in the flow, rather than feels like a chore. Maybe its in for Monday 8pm, but you actually feel it on Wed at 3pm! No worries! Putting it in the calendar is about setting an intention, and these things tend to play out differently.
Get clear on what your values are, and whether they are being met.
For instance, maybe your top value is compassion and your bottom one is truth, but your partner’s values are the opposite. Maybe you are in a job that is out of whack with your values, the first thing is to get clear so you know.If it’s clear your values differ then at least you now have that understanding, that makes a respectful conversation about how you can honour the needs in the two parties possible, and if it the end of the day it isn’t possible, then at least now you know- but first of all ask. Which brings me to one last thing….
Drop the judgment. On yourself, on another, on a situation.
Drop the judgment that you aren’t doing enough, or that you are doing something wrong or that a certain person or situation can’t give you what you need. Unless of course you are with an alcoholic, drug addict, gambler, or abuser, or in a job that clearly isn’t aligned with who you are, and you are utterly miserable.
When you know what you need the next step is to ask for it before you know or go.
The Star in the Tarot represents Nut, the Egyptian Goddess of the Sky who fell in love with her brother Geb the God of Earth.
Her grandfather Ra forbid them to be together in what was then the 360 day year, a situation of no hope (it seems) but Thoth (God of Magic) made an extra five days in the year where they could be together and Nut went on to give birth to 5 of the most important Egyptian deities.
There are times in life we have an inexplicable desire, something ignites in us and we don’t understand why it’s there, it can possess us and take us down a path of heartache and despair. We don’t understand why and we can’t seem to stop it.
At these times take heart, and to do that drop the judgment, on yourself, another or the situation.
Judgment is the quickest way out of the heart and into the head.
One of the things I focus on with my students in The Transformational Truth of Tarot is no judgment on your journey! Everyone’s journey is unique, everyone’s journey is different. Judge it or try to figure it out before it’s taken and ye shall block it!
Sometimes things get damn right strange for years until it all becomes clear. But one thing you can do in the meantime is cut yourself some slack.
Let's go back to my midlife crisis of 2016. I had no clue what was happening. I just knew I could no longer live as I was. Ending up in the Yucutan peninsula for no other reason other than sticking a pin in a map. It was a true paradise, but I felt totally and utterly bereft, heartbroken, totally lost and like I was losing everything. People judged me. How could I be married and just take off round the world like that?
I judged me too, but something in me knew I had to do the journey, and that was stronger.
Why. I had no idea.
In Tulum I had such an intense experience of being alone, which did give me the clarity I saught, but I needed someone around me that was familiar, and I knew I also needed more time, time to work it all out. So I moved to Granada where my soul sister lives.
Again, I was in a strange place, where I didn’t know the language or the rules.. I felt like an alien, like i’d left where I belonged. Everything i’d worked so hard for, my marriage, family, business, I had just got somewhere with it all, and now it was all running through my fingers.
This period lasted from June 2016 to 1st of January 2018:
In that period:
I nearly lost my marriage to the one man in my life I had ever experienced a true trust, friendship AND passion with.
My stepdaughter wasn’t speaking to me - after a decade of strife, she’d just let me into her heart when I left.
All the money and clients I had built were running through my fingers like quicksand and I quickly went from being the most in the black to the most in the red.
What was I doing? If only I had just stayed on track!
But the truth of the matter is that I was on track!
It just absolutely didn’t feel like it because I was too busy judging it, and who could blame me? Absolutely nothing about it felt like I was on track. But the truth was that we all started going through such a huge healing and transformation that would never have happened had I have stayed, and that family transformation meant I truly understood what was happening to me for the first time, and what to do about it not only for myself but for my clients too.
Nevertheless at the time:
I judged myself more harshly than I ever had. My self-esteem was in absolute tatters after doing so much dedicated work on it how could I let myself get into this situation of so much debt overnight? Of causing such pain to my family? What the heck am I doing living in a different country to my husband and abandoning a youth who has abandonment issues?
So let's take this one by one now I am on the otherside of the journey:
JUDGEMENT 1: How could I let myself get in so much debt? I made “wrong” decisions, “wrong” investments during this time, it left me living off credit. And my head was saying this to me everyday “Oh shit that’s BAD when you are paying to live on credit. That’s it i’m done for. There’s only one way out of this mess now - I’m going to have to bankrupt myself and get a job. That’s the end of my dream, my passion, my purpose, my reason for living.”
REALITY: It wasn’t the only way is down, it was a cycle of things that needed to happen in order to feed the upturn of the wheel. A few months later and business got back to the best it was, except it’s even better now because I’m wiser. Thank god I didn’t listen to my judgment, bankrupt myself and get a job.
JUDGMENT 2: How could I cause so much pain to my family?” I don’t deserve to have a family, who am I to think I can love? I can’t even love myself, ’m just a traumatised broken beyond repair fucked up human being who can’t treat herself, or her loved ones with true love because she doesn’t know it. Me, I’m defective in the heart, no-one is safe around me, I can’t do relationships, I’m beyond help, we all are, nobody is safe, we are all too messed up. That’s it i’m just going to live alone in four walls.
REALITY: I didn’t CAUSE the pain. It was already there in all of us, and this needed to happen for us to see separately what our stuff was, and how to heal it in ourselves. This we did. And since then we have been able to come together as a happy loving family. I’m not saying we don’t have our moments, but love, rather than fear and judgment prevail.
JUDGMENT 3: What am I doing living in a separate country to my spouse?
“Who does that? Whenever I say I am married and my husband and step daughter are in the UK I get the response, oh so you are here for work? No! Family? No! Study? No! And I am met with a look of confusion. Why am I here? I don’t belong here! Why am I not at home? Am I being selfish? How long will this go on for? Do I need to change it? How? OMG!!”
REALITY: I woke up on 1st Jan 2018 and knew it was time to go home. Just like that. It all aligned, just as clear as when it was time to go.
However I still spent 2018 judging myself about it all.
I could see some clear reasons why it had to happen, but why those countries? Why for so long? Why so much debt just on living?
It wasn’t until this year it all fell into place with a phone call from my soul sister in Spain:
Tiffany, i’m getting married in August, are you coming?
"Of course i’m coming!"
JUDGMENT: “but oh heck I need to put on a retreat to fund my time there, and that’s something I am not prepared to do as I have two retreats to fill as it is, but oh my I have to go, what a risk!”
REALITY: My friend and I already had experience of pooling our talents together in this manner when I was living there, because of knowing each other that way and because of our intimate knowledge of a land that only comes from living in it, our connection to the retreat we were creating became mind blowingly strong, this came across in the marketing and BOOM! It was sold out in a month!
Next up! Another phonecall, this time from my friend in Mexico:
“Tiffany, when are you coming back?”
“January! I’ll put on a Past Life and Mayan Astrology New Year Retreat!”
JUDGEMENT: “Oh heck! What did I just say? Mexico is FAR, January is HIGH season for the Yucutan, this is going to thee most expensive thing ever and totally out of mine and others league!”
REALITY: Once again because I had been there, I knew and understood the energy of the land and culture and what it had to offer, I could tune in and create a totally unique experience and my judgment of whose going to pay that much got blown out of the water with 3 bookings on the first day!
Also because I intimately understand what my ideal client needs (yup, you!) and how do I know this?
Because of the journey of course…
Three years on from that time, and now I can see WHY it had to happen, and HOW what looked like a foolish path at the time, was actually the path that lead me to my dreams becoming real.
The Fool and The Star in the Tarot are both Aquarius, and share the key quality of being open enough to follow the path without judgment.
It’s easy to fall into the judgment trap of yourself or someone else, when actually the reality is entirely different.
Watch out for that this Full Moon in Aquarius. Where you feel unloving or unloved no it’s not the truth. You are loved, and the universe has your back.
Suspend the judgment and do the journey to understand it all.
If this is something you are struggling with then click below to see if I truly do know what you need….
Wishing you a "wonder -full" Full Moon in Aquarius and much magic on your journey,